Seasons of Change

After 7 years of living in one place, I’m moving. In the process of sorting through and packing up my house, I’m finding all kinds of things - old trophies from when I used to play basketball (why in the world have I kept these for so long?), cassette tapes from middle school (Madonna, Alabama, Rob Base and D.J. E-Z Rock, Cake, 10,000 Maniacs – just to name a few), a cowboy hat I bought in Wyoming 8 years ago, my old landline phone and answering machine from college…the list goes on and on. It’s really been fun going down memory lane, while also reminding myself that I do not need or want most of this stuff – it all MUST go in the trash or yard sale pile!

Yesterday I came across a box buried in the top of my closet, labeled “2001-2002”. My first STINT year. I spent over an hour looking through all that was in this box – tons of pictures, letters, notes of encouragement, and small reminders of that year overseas. I also had junk in this box – can someone please tell me why I would keep samples of the wallpaper that my parent’s hung in their house while I was gone that year? Yes, in an effort to make me feel included in what was going on at home, my mother sent me samples of the wallpaper they were using as they remodeled our house that year, and for some reason I decided to not only keep that during my year in East Asia but also to pack it up and carry it across the ocean to then store in a box in my closet for the next 8 years. I digress…

Aside from viewing the wallpaper samples again, I read through every note and letter in the box – I had kept everything from long letters written from friends in America to short notes that my teammates had written and attached to flowers when I was sick – there were countless encouraging notes from my teammates from that year. Tears came as I was encouraged again, years after those notes had been written. What a sweet time to remember all that happened that year and how incredibly blessed I was to be working alongside of the amazing team God had provided for me.
My STINT team 2001-2002

Yesterday, I was reminded of God’s goodness and faithfulness to me that first year overseas. I was also reminded of the “seasons of friendships” in my life and how they are constantly changing. As I look back over my life, I am reminded of seasons of sweet, dear friends – from high school, from college, from my time living overseas, and a couple of different groups since I’ve been back in North Carolina.

As the seasons change, there is pain. Pain in the “good-byes”. Pain in the reality that things will change – they can’t stay the same. Yet, I am so grateful that God gives us these sweet friendships for seasons.

The seasons certainly change, but God has been the Constant running throughout. God is the friend that never moves, never leaves, never changes. I’m exceedingly grateful for the friendships with which I’ve been blessed over my years. However, I am far more grateful for the blessing and promise of His never-changing, constant presence in my life.

Why do I think everything is about me?

I recently had a good friend make a comment to me in regards to the NCAA tournament. He said, “Hey UNC fans, let’s stop thinking everything is about you”. Though I know this comment was made in jest and was just your typical March Madness trash talk, because it was directed towards me, I took it personally and begin to ask myself the question, “Do I really think everything is about me?”

Within seconds, my pondering this question turned from thoughts about basketball and loyalty to a particular team to thoughts about my own life – my job, my friends, the things that I talk about, the things that I think about, the disappointments in life, the stresses of life, etc. Why do I think everything is about me?

In his book, “Whiter than Snow”, Paul David Tripp writes, “There are times when you let yourself be ruled by your self-focused desires rather than by God’s clear commands. There are times when you love something in the creation more than you love the Creator. There are times when you willingly step over God’s boundaries in pursuit of what you want. There are times when your little kingdom of one means more to you than his transcendent kingdom of glory.” And I don’t know about you, but for me these “times” aren’t isolated times now and then, but rather they happen more often than not. Why do I think everything is about me?

When my friend says, “Hey UNC fans, let’s stop thinking everything is about you”, I resonate with that, because UNC fan or not, we all spend much of our life thinking everything is about us. We were born that way – “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” ~Psalm 51:5. We were raised that way. Our society conditions us to think that way. We are told to “look out for number one”. We are told to do what it takes to climb the ladder of success, regardless of who we hurt along the way. We are told by our world and by the Enemy himself from an early age that “everything is all about me”.

Yet God’s Kingdom is counter-cultural to anything we’ve found in the world. God’s Kingdom is like no other. And choosing His Kingdom over my own is SO WORTH IT! Time and time again I fall back into the self-feeding lie that everything is about me. I believe the lie that my life should revolve around my comfort, my dreams, my desires – me, me, me! What a lie! The truth is I will only be truly satisfied when I live for Something – rather Someone - other than myself. Any time spent thinking it is all about me is merely wasted time.

Though I know that my friend’s comment about UNC fans was intended to get under my skin and make me mad, what it really did was point me to Christ, and for that, I am thankful.